A Depressing Moment

I may have been lucky to survive a Toyota Prius but that car isn’t a very masculine so go figure and that situation helped me tick that experience from my bucket list hahaha.

But FUCK….. I did not for a second imagine how hard it was going to be to crawl my way back, there were plenty of moments that I wanted to just say fuck it and at one point I almost did. The thought of ‘what if I didn’t survive” came along and hit me like a sledgehammer, the worst part about it was I had my boys for the weekend too….

I am glad I reached out and said something to a friend (who is now my girlfriend) because that was the thing I needed to get through it.

The thought of ‘what if’ I experienced was a debilitating thought.

“What if I didn’t survive my accident then everyone wouldn’t have to put up with my broken body, yeah they would be sad but like everything in like it will pass then everyone can carry on with their lives.”

That one thought compounded with everything else, hurt a lot and I thought it would’ve been a lot easier if I was removed from life.

I’m glad I didn’t and had the support there to help me through it because from that I have now removed that thought and don’t give any similar thoughts the energy to manifest themselves.

What example would I set if I gave up after everything I had been through, I found a new focus and did one small thing everyday to just keep me going, which is I walked around the block being mindful about being in the moment. Doing that helped massively.

Help is something I wasn’t used to asking for but being in the situation I was in, I wasn’t about to cut my nose to spite my face. So, I learnt to suck up my pride and ask for help, I’m glad I did. My life has been so much grander for the simple action of asking for help.

Until next time….

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